90210- A hook up, some making up, an OD, and Silver finally gets it.

Oh where to begin?! I'm gonna start with Silver Jessica Stroup), mostly because her picture is right there. (Thanks for having a whole two decent pictures from this episode up, cwtv.com) Silver spent the first half of the episode being a stone cold bitch to everyone, (pretty much just Naomi and Teddy, but you get me) except the obviously creepy Mr. Cannon. Thank goodness that annoying girl forced her to edit those stupid "where will I be in 10 years" (um, playing a teenager on 90210?) videos, because without them not only would she have continued being mean to Teddy, she would have totally gotten raped. Sometimes, being incredibly annoying is helpful!

So Silver narrowly escaped the grossness that is, Mr. Cannon; Raping Teacher. Thank goodness that tea was too hot! I found the whole "Mr. Cannon is gonna roofie Silver" scene so weird, because he was acting strangely nervous about the whole thing, instead of being the vicious predator he was with Naomi. I was like "Are we supposed to feel bad for him here because he is getting so flustered? What is going on? Maybe this was his first time using roofies?"

So after getting stalked, invited to a teacher's house and almost roofied, finally, Silver gets it, and runs straight to Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord), who has accidentally overdosed on some sleeping pills and wine. Ugh. It grosses me out to no end that Silver just didn't believe Naomi even though she was so clearly a mess. Also, where has Annie been in this whole story? Doesn't she know a thing or two about not being believed? Anyway, instead of just calling 911 like a normal person, Silver keeps shaking Naomi and trying to talk to her. This chick is just full of the smart moves lately.

Oh, and she text-forgave Teddy (Trevor Donovan), which I am sure the dude was giddy about.

EXCEPT- it turns out that Teddy hooked up with a guy in the five seconds that they weren't together!!! BOOYEAH! Ladies, if your boyfriend spends a night in a fancy hotel with a guy after you have been broken up for less than 24 hours...he's gay. So there it is. It looks like the whole Teddy/Silver thing is about to get interesting! Thanks to 90210 and Jessica Stroup for making Silver really annoying to me so that I don't care if she and Teddy break up. Also, the dude he hooked up with was cute!

Hmm, in Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) news, her boyfriend was M.I.A. (seriously, IS Navid on this show anymore?), she is an awful person who stole a dead man's song and then became a Youtube sensation. But, GIRL BUSTED. Javier's uncle has a demo him singing the song six months ago! I can't believe it turns out that her brilliant plant to steal his songbook isn't going to work! I assume that Javier's uncle is gonna use this information to blackmail her, despite the fact that he swore that he would do anything to preserve "this kid's legacy" or something. (Side note, when I die, I really want a big-ass picture of me like Javier had at the front of the room during the memorial. Take note friends and family: BIG ASS PICTURE O' ME. What's good enough for Javier is good enough for Krista. )

On the Annie tip, Shanae Grimes needs to go back to acting class, because the weird faces were in full effect! Granted, she had to react to some strange conversations, but still. Tone down the face honey. It turns out that Hallie Lowenthal and Jack from Days of Our Lives (Where is Jennifer?!!) want her to sell them her eggs so they can have a baby. They point out that Annie kind of looks like Hallie Lowenthal (which I never would have noticed, but it's kinda true) and has a great smile or something. This "find an intern that kind of looks like one of us to sell us her eggs" is the strangest scheme ever. But somehow I totally called this, I think because of the 'responsible" thing in the first episode. However, I legitimately do no know if she's gonna go for it. So good on you 90210, nice suspense.

Um what else? Dixon (Tristan Wilds) and Ivy (Gillian Zinser) got back together, and Dixon didn't even have to grovel because it turned out Ivy lied to him about how she's a virgin. It also turns out that Ivy has major daddy issues. And another thing, Oscar (that's the British guy) is out to destroy Ivy's mom (Kelly Lynch) for ruining his father's life! His machinations make a lot more sense now that I know this. So, daddy issues for everyone then!

No Deb (yay!), no Jen (super yay!) no Ryan (boo!) no Navid (super boo!).


Next week: SPOILER ALERT, looks like Naomi's gonna be okay, because usually, after a traumatic event you don't hold a MAN AUCTION!!

90210-Finally, someone told Jen to "Suck it!"

I am really starting to love Naomi. As is she, obviously.

I have to say, the beginning of the show where Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) got her money back and Jen (Sara Foster) got denied was definitely the best part. It kind of went downhill from there for me. I think it is because every story line went exactly where I expected it to go (yet everyone acts completely inexplicably), with the exception of the whole Annie (Shenae Grimes)/Liam (Matt Lanter) thing. (Come on, no one expected that!!) Here's a breakdown!


The Good:

-Naomi told Jen to "suck it"! That was the best thing that happened! By far!

-The entire Naomi story is going well so far for me. She was pretty much the only character focused on tonight whose actions made any sense whatsoever. Even her lies seem like typical teenage screwups, especially considering what she has been through. And I completely understand why she wanted to run down the creepy rapist teacher.

-No Deb!

-The writers remembered that Liam was all rebellious and stuff!

-Naomi's 18th birthday party makes the tiara I wore at mine look decidedly tame.

The Bad:

-Jen is still on the show.

-Ryan Matthews' hair. And lack of drunk person beard.

-Ugh the fact that Ryan (Ryan Eggold) is moving in with Jen and she has to be on bedrest and she is so so alone and so sad and can't force anyone else to take care of her. I do not want to see Jen redeemed by pregnancy, motherhood, love or any combination thereof.

-Annie and Liam schmoopy talk. I thought I was okay with them being together, but then I saw it, and it was gross.

- The fact that everyone on this show with an accent is evil.

-The fact that I caught myself wondering "Is Navid (Michael Steger) even on this show anymore?"

-Seriously Ivy (Gillian Zinser), that was the tamest body shot ever. I cannot even understand why you would be pissed off at Dixon about such a thing.

-Silver's dress, Ivy's dress (or whatever it was) and to a lesser a extent, Naomi's dress.

The Inexplicable:

-Um, I guess Teddy's (Trevor Donovan) a drunk now? Or something? (THAT'S why his mouth tasted bad!)

-The fact that British dude is sleeping with Ivy's mom (Kelly Lynch), and somehow has concocted a plan to sleep with Ivy, as a means to keep sleeping with her mom? I don't get it. Women don't like it when you sleep with their daughters. This guy as a lot to learn about seduction.

The British dude is looking more than a little lurky here.

-Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) continues her downward spiral towards becoming a total sociopath. Remember when I used to like her?!

-Adrien Grenier is the drummer in a band? Okay. Good for him!

-Okay, let's talk about West Beverly High's "Senior Advisor" program. Why does it necessitate so much alone time between rapey teachers and students? I know that Harry: Amazing Principal, Terrible Husband is gone, but there has to be someone in the administration who can fix this!

-Annie meets a dude, decides to date Liam, dumps Liam and then calls the first dude all in like 2 days? Said dude is actually Liam's brother? Does he know Annie dated Liam for five seconds? Is Liam going to totally freak out when he sees them together? (The answer to that last question is a big fat YES.) This whole storyline is weird. At least I don't have to see Annie kiss Liam anymore.

- At this point, Dixon (Tristan Williams) has become the most likable character on the show.

-Silver completely disbelieving Naomi when admitted that Mr. McRapeypants, Journalism Teacher, raped her. Considering the character of Silver is supposed to be some big feminist, it doesn't sit with me that she would just dismiss that accusation out of hand the way she did, even considering Naomi's previous actions.

Silver's dress is incredibly ugly, as is her attitude!

-Also, why is Silver fawning all over Mr. McRapeypants, Journalism Teacher anyway? He is clearly weird, and being totally inappropriate with her.



Next week: Adrianna's transformation into a super terrible person will be complete!

90210 is back! And it's crazy!

Wow. Let no one say that 90210 didn't come back with a bang. I mean, I don't think anyone actually banged, but you know what I mean. That episode was intense!

First things first though. 90210 has tragically moved to Mondays. This is tragic because I watch it with my friends on Tuesdays, and do something else on Monday nights, so now you have to wait until Tuesday night for my posts and I have to spend the day running away from people who try to talk about 90210 to me. SPOILER ALERT people! I think we will all make it through this difficult time though, so not to worry.

On to this crazy episode! I'm gonna go by character, because so much happened in this ep, I don't even know how else to unpack it! I mean, there was an earthquake and everything!

I like Annie (Shenae Grimes) so much more now that she has learned to tone down her face.

Annie (Shenae Grimes)- Well either Shenae Grimes reads my blog or she spent the summer taking acting lessons, because her crazy face-making is down at least 80%. So good for her! Because of this, I hated her slightly less than usual, which is a pretty big achievement when you consider the fact that the only consequences she faced for drunkenly killing a guy were some offscreen house arrest and some hugs from her mom or something. I actually yelled "That's it?!" to my friend Sarah, even though her two kids were sleeping mere feet away from me and I should not have been so loud! But my rage got the better of me.

Anyway, I was actually halfway moved in the scene with scheming theater owner or whatever she is, where she talked about how killing that dude was a part of her and she was forever changed by it. It must be acting classes.

By the way, the scheming theater lady is played by the woman who played the hated Hallie Lowenthal on My So-Called Life, so I will have no problem hating her when her evil plan unfolds. (What nefarious thing does she want to do with Annie that requires her to be beautiful, responsible AND desperate? I cannot even venture a guess. How does 'responsible' ever work into a scheme!?)

So, the takeaway here is, I hate Annie less. Also, I have to admit that kiss with Liam was kind of hot. (Um, I would date the HELL out of that guy if I were her. Friends schmiends Annie!)

Phew, I had a lot to say about Annie's storyline, even though it wasn't even close to the craziest. Most insane story? It's a toughie, but I'm gonna give it to...Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes). Um, apparently over the summer Adrianna became a terrible terrible person. Thanks for taking all the joy out of the long awaited Ade/Navid reunion 90210! I mean when you find yourself asking about your career hours after watching your ex-boyfriend die in front of your eyes, it's time to reevaluate your priorities. "Oh man Laurel, sorry about someone you have known for like 10 years dying tragically, but the real question is, when am I getting back into the studio?!" I don't care how jerky he was being right before he died, that does not excuse stealing his songs and trying to record them as your own! I did enjoy it when Navid (Michael Steger) told her he had always been "lukewarm" on her songwriting. Nice accidental burn Navid!

Teddy/Silver- Everything about that storyline seemed kind of weird and rushed to me, but I do dig the Mia Farrow thing Silver(Jessica Stroup) has going on this season. Also I have been too spoiled about future developments with them to talk about it too much now! (Feel free to ask me about it in the comments or something! Or when you see me.) Poor Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and his torn ACL. Now instead of being a professional tennis star he'll just have to be the rich son of a famous actor. What will he do now? Go to college?! Oh how will he go on?!

But it cannot be said that Teddy's not a good guy, because he did try to stop Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) from gangbanging some kids from school. She'll thank you for that some day pal, I promise. There are things that I like about this Naomi rape story, including, to be honest, the idea of having villain that is not one of the main cast and is truly beyond redemption, even if I think he might be a cartoonish in his awfulness. Unfortunately, I am not so sure that Annalynn McCord is a strong enough actress to carry this story. (Though they really did her a favor in rape reporting scene but casting one of the most wooden actresses ever. Was that a real cop or something?) I also don't like that they have her resorting to classic "slutty" behavior, especially since that is exactly what Annie did after she killed a dude. (Sext anyone?!) Hey 90210 writers, all women don't deal with trauma by becoming sex maniacs! I'm interested to see where this goes though, so I'm withholding judgment.

Since this the only couple I like left to root for, THEY BETTER NOT BREAK UP.

Ivy/Dixon/Austin Powers- There are so many reasons that I don't understand why Ivy would be fantasizing about that douchey British guy. Here are just a few:

1. His stupid ponytail

2. His accent isn't even hot.

3. He seems very inconsiderate.

4. Dixon is rocking a hot "young Michael Jackson" thing this season.

5. Dixon is obviously a tiger in the sack, considering Silver got his name tattooed on her hip after their first time and an ADULT WOMAN faked a pregnancy so she could keep sleeping with him.

6. They love each other! So step off Ponytail!

Deb(Lori Loughlin)- Big fat WHO CARES. For real. No one does.

Liam (Matt Lanter) Got kicked out of his house, wants Annie for some reason, is still hot. Here's a picture:

Ryan Matthews (Ryan Eggold)- I miss his drunk person beard.

The Kardashians- They suck at acting, Khloe's outfit was super unflattering, and I think in real life they would give their friend a dress, because they seem nice. Not that I watch shows with them in it or anything like that. I'm just saying.

Next week: I feel like the previews were kind of cryptic...Silver has Naomi's rapist as a senior advisor (which is an incredibly important thing at West Bev apparently), Teddy's mouth tastes bad? I don't know. Hopefully Jen (Sara Foster) won't be back, because I was annoyed just see her in the previouslies.